When Should You Start Working to Make Things Work #9 Things To Know

As years pass by, the intense feeling of excitement and thrill in the relationship gradually declines. It will somehow be replaced by a feeling of boredom especially when you both do the same thing every day. The good news is you don’t have to feel guilty about it! Everyone else does. At some point of our lives, our relationship tends to be steady, effortless, and dragging. But this does not mean it is the end of it. If you don’t know how to beat boredom and spice things up, it surely will but then life gives us many options to detour and find a more exciting way. So the best thing to cope with this is to understand why you’re bored and how to deal with it!

Reasons why you are bored:

1.      It’s a routine. Relationships can really be boring when things become so predictable. Work/school – See each other – Dine together – Watch TV – Sleep. But hey, routines can be broken by doing something new. You can spice it up by making surprises once in a while! You may bring some flowers when you fetch her from work or give him a card to say thank you. You can be creative at making a surprise. Giving presents or going to new places don’t need special occasions for them to be done. Every day is a special event that you have to be thankful for.

2.     Communication Protocol. I remember a friend of mine told me that even though they were always together with his girlfriend, they seldom talked because they were busy doing their own stuff. This proves the line, “so near yet so far.” Enjoy talking and listening and sharing stories and jokes.

3.     Work hard, harder. There is actually nothing wrong with working hard as long as you understand why you are doing it. You might be saving a lot of money for a wedding that might not happen just because you missed a lot of things while you busy yourself at work.

4.     The One You Were Before. Probably, you miss being single and the things you were able to do before – friends, night out, alcohol, games, etc. Or perhaps, you think that you are gradually losing your identity by trying to blend with your partner. If you are having these thoughts, well think again. Are you really ready for a commitment? And if ever you need some break, just make sure you are ready to see your partner with someone else because once something is broken, it’s just impossible to put them back together the way it was.

5.     The One He/She Was Before. People do change and so does your partner. The first time you met your partner might be very magical and you thought that he/she was the best person, the most understanding, the kindest, the smartest, and the all-in-one person. But time unveiled the true color of your partner and the flaws have become more visible each day that even the tiniest detail could become a big issue. Yet relationships are about acceptance. No one is perfect. You, too, have your own shortcomings. Each one of you is there to complement the other.

6.     Still scouting for other options. Until now, you still look at other girls or glance at other boys and when you look back at your partner, you see the things that they have which your partner does not possess. This might become frustrating later on because you tend to be dissatisfied with what you have and disappointed with what you couldn’t have. But just be fair. If your partner possessed what you saw in others, do you think he/she would still choose you?

7.     A mere obligation. As time goes by, you seem to do things like you have to and not because you want to. This makes you grow tired of your relationship because seeing each other would then become an obligation rather than your passion. Since when did school become enjoyable? I guess, it’s when you start having fun at the same time realize that a great future begins here.

8.     Shaky Ground. Nowadays, relationships tend to be less planned and couples tend to be less prepared. They quickly jumped into it without considering the effects it might bring into their lives. Most people cannot distinguish true love from infatuation. True love is when you admit that he/she is not the most beautiful person in this world but you would still choose him/her over and over again. It is when you do not dream of a fancy wedding anymore as long as she says “I do,” you can marry her in any place or church at any time. True love does not end happily ever after just like fairy tales do. It simply does not end.

9.     The Future. We are in this relationship because we see our partner as a lifetime partner and not someone we can easily dump when things get rough. Try asking yourself, “Can both of you keep up with life’s challenges? Would you choose to help each other in times of reluctance?” I bet you would say yes. You wouldn’t know it unless you’re there. So better set your goals, determine your ways, and do your best to walk following the right path.  

Acceptance is the key towards solving any problem. Once you have accepted the cause of the problem, you can then find ways to solve it. You are in this relationship because you chose to be part of the team. There is no need for the finger-pointing game. No one is to blame. Knowing all these things takes you to a vantage point to start working for your relationship to work. Best of luck! You have all my prayers.